Survival Tip #2643

Never do connecting flights through Italy.








Why?
Well i tried to get home for christmas and my voyage wasn't what you'd call fun.
Why?
Because i had a 12 hour wait between my first 2 flights and just 40mins between my last one.
Why?
Because they were through Malpensa, Linate and Rome, and all flying Alitalia.
So?
So they lost my luggage.
And?
They closed the snack bars early leaving me without food or drink until next day.
And?
All flights were delayed.
And?
The cops came and tried to throw me out for sleeping on the airport benches with the other street bums.
And?
They cancelled a flight only to put it back on the list a few hours before the flight.
And?
They sent everyone to the wrong gate.
And?
They believe they can service a queue of 400 passengers with only one passport check booth.
And?
Every other person gives you different and conflicting information.
And?
I got to the Linate gate without even presenting a passport or ticket.
And?
The milan lower-class are UGLY.
And?
The flight hostess dresses like she's on a catwalk but then serves you a dry sandwich packed last month.
And?
Milanese proudly take their pet poodles for a walk by the airport. One decided to leave a cute little turd just behind me. Nexta time ia see a poodle, it sleepa with the fishes.
And?
Well screw Italy in general . And madonna those poodles are everywhere. I kick anything which looks like a fluffy slipper with legs next time.